Since
my dad died last month, I have very little energy or motivation to do much else besides get
through my work day. Some days, I even take a nap on the couch after working 9-10
hours before my husband gets home from work.
A
wooden New Orleans sign given to me from my mother-in-law.
Homemade
gingerbread ornaments called pierniki that I bought from the cutest and best smelling shop in Warsaw, Poland.
A red flower ornament from my auntie in Hawaii.
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I
don’t feel like cooking either, so we’ve done quite a bit of Deliveroo and take
away lately.
I
certainly don’t feel like being my normal happy self most of the time, so it’s
difficult to get into the Christmas spirit here in London. When I’m surrounded by people at work, it’s easier to act
happier and sing along to the Christmas songs playing on the radio in our
kitchen. But at home, it’s a different story.
Until
I finally decided that we should get a Christmas tree – a real Christmas tree.
Hubby
tried to argue that what was the point of spending 50 some pounds if I’m just
going to kill it. Well, I responded, I will try to keep the tree alive in the
garden until next December (thus saving us money next Christmas); and besides,
I deserve a real tree after all I’ve been through, dammit.
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| Our tree dons a Santa hat this year because the star won't connect to the new British lights I had to buy since the tree is bigger than previous years. Expat problems! |
On
Sunday, we ventured back to our local greenhouse to see if there were any
potted Christmas trees left. I had stopped here one day after work but couldn’t
the lift the damned tree onto my bike. Hubby decided that he could carry the
tree home a couple of blocks – thus saving us the £10 delivery fee.
Unlike
the trendy matchy-matchy Christmas trees at the shops, our tree is filled with
ornaments from our travels or from loved ones. Nearly all of the ornaments have
a story to tell.
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| How to buy a Christmas tree in the Battersea neighborhood of London -make your partner carry it home for you! :) |
The
boxes of silver and red glass balls I bought when we first moved in together in
Baltimore, Maryland.
A
London tube ornament that I bought in 2016 when we first moved here.
Our
Christmas tree is filled with memories. That’s what I need right now.
My grief and sadness comes and goes, but I’ll always have all these lovely memories.
My grief and sadness comes and goes, but I’ll always have all these lovely memories.
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4 comments:
Looks very festive, Joy! We visited your mom last week and I hope we cheered her up a little. I love your tree. Merry Christmas, Anne
oh joy i feel for you. this is going to be a tough xmas for all of you. your tree is so cute. i'm glad it is giving you some cheer. i try to tell my kids how important it is to collect ornaments from everywhere they travel. it is something i always did. there's not much i can say to make you feel better but at some point you will find yourself smiling with a lot less pain and remembering only the love. hugs!
A lovely tree Joy. A nice way to remember it all. And, lean into your grief and memories of your father at the same time...that too, is how it should be at this time.
A lovely tree Joy. A nice way to remember it all. And, lean into your grief and memories of your father at the same time...that too, is how it should be at this time.
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